Saturday, May 29, 2010 - 10:50 AM
about a homeless man
do you know how it feels like to dread and hate going home every single day of your life? you try not to think about it just take it in man take it in. but it's just in your face. to avoid feeling like a complete ghost and to have it rubbed into your face that some people just hate you or just don't care. so much so that you've got to camp out in the library from opening to closing.
but well, after chilling a bit, you realise that it's no big deal. life is just full of surprises. people whom you never thought you can get along with, end up becoming your best friends. and people whom you think were meant to be best friends, end up becoming those you least want to see.
that's what makes everything so exciting. HAH. life is like a box of chocolates. you never know what you'll get. ok most of the time the flavours are written on the back of the box. but flavours that you think you're gonna love may just end up with a stupid rotten core. you can only spit it out and wish you never touched it. but it's those flavours that you think you would hate but had to try it because you just spat out your favourite one (or so you thought), and ends up surprising you, that makes your day.
call them pleasant surprises. to help cancel out the bad surprises.
Thursday, May 27, 2010 - 5:33 PM
confusion
it's so confusing. having been in this world for about 20 years and I still haven't quite figured it out. what do people want?
I think people are like kites. you've got to give them space and let them have their freedom. but yet you've got to pull them close occasionally to remind them that you care. but then when is the right time to do the right thing?
how to show someone you care without stifling them? how to leave someone alone without seeming like you don't give a damn?
and when people come closer how do you respond? you can't be too closed up but you can't open up too much either. or else you just end up with a constantly broken heart because you leave it too accessible.
I think the trick is to love them but not need them.
that's just going to be lonely. but maybe that's what works.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 - 3:24 PM
constant.
as social beings, we float. that's like a given. that's why people find commitment more of a restraint than a sense of security. but I think deep down, we all want a constant. we just don't want to be someone else's constant. having a constant is a comforting thing. but when it comes to becoming one, it's another story altogether...
but then again, we can't be too demanding. we can't ask for others to be our constants when we're not prepared to be constants ourselves. but then it gets complicated. maybe we don't want to be constants because we don't want to hurt ourselves. because it can hurt to be a constant for someone else who floats. so we end up with the story of everyone floating.
so who should start a different chapter to change the plot of this story?
I don't know.
I just know that I need a constant.
And that I can be a constant.
But I just can't bear to get hurt.
Not anymore.
Saturday, May 8, 2010 - 3:08 PM
is it more than just bad luck?
seriously eventful thus far.
firstly, I missed my bus. no big deal. just that in perth that means a 30 minutes wait for the next bus. then when the next bus arrived, I got on the bus, only to realise it's a 97C rather than a 97A bus so it doesn't go where I want to go! and that bus driver was so bitchy she said "can't you read?" whoa. so I got off, walked 15 minutes back to the busstop to wait for the next bus. and when the next bus arrived, I got on and lo and behold! what a familiar face on the driver's seat. so the bus took a loop. yay! she must have been so happy watching me be such an idiot.
then did groceries and stuff and baked cookies.
then went home and yay! I realised I forgot my keys! so locked out. finally get the experience.
so now I'm camping out at the library (thank goodness for the library. always thank goodness for the library.) while waiting for my housemates to return home.................
bleh
Saturday, May 1, 2010 - 5:59 PM
hope it gives you hell hope it give you hell
don't even know what to say man. SPEECHLESS.
like who in world asks for things like that. in the way that I'm-telling-you-that-you're-going-to-help-me rather than please-can-you-do-me-a-favour-and-I-know-I'm-the-one-owing-you-and-you-don't-owe-me-a-single-shit-to-have-to-help-me.
like seriously???!!! we're all over 21 already. ADULTS. omigoodness. some people just never fail to amaze me.. I've got to respect them that they can be so thick-skinned that they think that's not a problem but normal. hhhhoooookay...
when I'm the only one who can't stand it, it's probably my problem. when everybody seems to be unable to stand it, maybe it's the person's problem.
and when it's so blatantly in his/her face that people have a problem with him/her, I wonder how blind he/she has to be to JUST NOT SEE IT and continue living in lalala land where the world owes him/her everything and has to be at his/her service..
really SPEECHLESS. because it's really such a high-level thick-skinness and disregard for anyone except himself/herself that I don't even know what to say.
like wow.