you might be thinking of the cliche. money can't buy health. yea rightttttt. with money, you don't have to stress so much and work so hard, so you won't be putting yourself at risk of many stress-related diseases. ok let's say you have money and choose to continue to work damn hard and you get a stress-related disease anyway. with the money, you can afford better treatments (a fact that singapore healthcare likes to shove in your face, with "subsidised" plastic-chair-ed waiting rooms right next to the "private patients" air-conditioned cushion-chair-ed waiting rooms), you can have the choice of taking a break from work and resting to recover, you can afford buying health supplements and natural foods and all those herbs and whatnot that are claimed to be beneficial to health, etc etc. so maybe the $$ doesn't exactly solve the problem and make the disease go away for sure, it sure does make it easier to recover or, in the case of terminal diseases, to go in peace, doesn't it?

and yes with natural disasters. no, money won't prevent it from coming. but money is exactly what you need to repair damages, and put your life back in order after the chaos right? so tell me who would find it harder to rebuild/repair a house (or just buy a new house la), repair a car (or just buy a new car la), repair damaged possessions (or just buy new ones): the poor man or the rich man?

and please don't tell me that love can't be bought with money. because in this real world, far from your idealistic story book fairytale imaginations, it freaking can be. in fact I'd like to think that majority of the love in the world is in fact bought with money. ok maybe not directly all the time. but beauty can buy love. that's definite. and money can buy beauty. so there you go!

money can't buy intelligence? well it sure can buy you tutors and books and stuff to help you!! and you know what, if you had money, you don't really need the brains anymore. you can go be like what, a body art artist and have no worries about your next meal.

so money money money. it's a rich man's world. money makes the world go round.

please just go on and tell me something money can't do.

but then, there's a fine line to draw between letting go of our control issues and losing hope. denial always helps. but it does no good at all. denial, distractions and everything we do so that we can turn away from the fact that we are grasping so desperately on to the illusion of control that was never ours to begin with..

I know it's absolutely self-centred. I know it's narrow-minded. but somehow I feel like I'm constantly in stormy seas. I've been paddling to stay afloat for very long already. but the storm doesn't seem to be getting tired. I know I can only keep afloat, try new methods to stay alive and be as happy as possible in the time being. resenting the stormy seas only sucks away the energy that can be better spent trying to stay afloat. but you know, it gets tiring. lactic acid builds up. and you need time to recover a bit before you can be ready for the next storm. but my storm doesn't do hiatuses. and I really need to outlast it. I can't get emotional because there's only so much reserve left in me.

I need a float. even if it's the kiddy kind that you wrap around your arms. anything helps. and I know people have been throwing me lifebouys. they've seen me struggling. they can't save me, because it's my storm to ride out. but they're doing their best to keep me alive. but why does my storm seem so strong. that I'm sinking deep even with my efforts and the lifebouys.

I can only pray. that either the storm dies down soon. or that I can be saved and pulled out from these harsh waters soon.

do You hear our pleas? stop her sufferings. heal her. please.