Sunday, February 7, 2010 - 6:07 PM
grey's anatomy
I particularly loved this ranting from Miranda to Derek about her high school crush whose life she just saved but who takes her completely for granted.
"What do you care? Hair products. Your perfect little face. Your perfect little life. What do you care how I am. I pay attention. I pay attention to people in all walks of life. All types. I notice people. I see people.
It's guys like you who don't see people like me. I'm not talking about you. Just guys like you. Who don't see girls like me.
We don't exist for you. We exist to do your homework. We exist to build your ego up.
I am a successful married mother. I am chief resident. I am chief resident of a major metropolitan hospital. I'm a surgeon who saved his life today.
And he still doesn't see me.
And I'm still the high school girl with the mushroom hair and the coke bottle glasses and the band uniform. The girl who didn't even go to homecoming dance because it didn't even occur to him to ask me.
All those late nights tutoring him. And it didn't even occur to him to ask."
Then of course our ever charming Derek saves the day and informs us that he had acne and an afro hairdo in his high school days. And he also wore a band uniform.
Existing to boost your ego up. That sucks. Big time.
Monday, February 1, 2010 - 10:57 AM
invading personal space
we keep our distances. we pretend not to care. we nurse our damaged pride. and we wrap ourselves up in bubble wrap. so that nobody comes too close and we don't get hurt.
it's often said that it's easy for people to lose their human touch and become robots. but I think we're all trying hard to become robots. and it's easy to lose focus and become human. because it's our default mode to have a heart. to love and to care.
so how do you get back the edge when you've lost it? how do you re-wrap the bubble wrap when it gets undone? how do you mend what's broken?
we try desperately to draw lines and boundaries. we try to keep people out. but really, we're just keeping ourselves in. and as much as we try, we can't survive that way. we feed on love. we really do. and sometimes, that invading of personal space is exactly what we need to stay alive.
but how do you know who are the right people? what happens when you let the wrong people in? how do you undo the damage they've done?
it's all a matter or trial and error. although there is of course the role of judgement but that's not really accurate most of the time. so we're just down to luck. a game of chance.
and like all other games of chance, there is that 99% chance we lose. and we get hurt.
that's why we fence up.
it's not worth it just for that slim chance.
so I ask the pressing question again. How do you get back the EDGE when you've lost it? the edge that keeps the human out. the edge that gives you the drive to be at the top of your game.
the edge that bubble wraps you. from the world of sharp glass shards. that can pierce right through your sternum, your mediastinum, into your heart.