Sunday, October 18, 2009 - 4:26 PM
How are you?
when you ask "how are you?", are you really interested to know? or are you just expecting an answer of "everything's fine!"? when you get "not so good" as a reply, do you give an inward groan of annoyance? so there comes the million dollar question, to ask or not to ask?
I guess it's an art. to discern who really wants to know and who is just acting like they want to know. all part of an art known as interpersonal relationships. otherwise known as socialising.
so after sometime, it gets obvious. and you learn what kind of things different people want to hear. and you adapt your speech, including what you say and your tone and even body language to suit what the other party wants to see and wants to hear. no problem.
but then once in awhile, they actually look genuinely interested in what's going on in your life. and that line gets a bit blurred. and you feel, even if it's purely on the basis of socialising and having a conversation topic slightly more meaningful than the weather, that maybe you can just give a brief summary of certain more interesting things that has happened in your life. even if it's merely for the sake of some gossip.
little do you know. that in their little minds, a whirlpool of displeasure has started. all stemming from the fact that nope, they would rather you have just said you're doing great and then move on to talk about the weather. and that all they wanted, in that apparently sincere and concerned "How has things been?", was an AGENDA.
AGENDA:
1. Make myself feel that I've done my best in being interested in other people's lives and problems.
2. Make myself feel good that I went out of my way to be concerned for other people.
3. God likes it when we care for one another so make God happy that I am doing exactly that.
4. And so just to make sure I fulfill agenda 3, if I had to choose what problems I'd like to hear about, preferably it'll be something concerning that.
ooook. nice.
but well nothing wrong here. the world was built this way anyway. no problems at all. just all part of the learning process. and we should all aim to be nice people. so we should make each other happy. so perhaps it makes some people happy to feel that they've been caring and concerned about other people's lives, yet don't want to be actually burdened by any knowledge about other people's lives.
solution to that: always reply their 'how-are-you's with a nice big summer-sun sort of bright smile and a "oh it's alright! how about you?"
oh and you can start talking about the weather if you like.
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Post a CommentAt October 30, 2009 at 7:37 PM,
Gloria said…
haha i've blogged about the exact same thing!
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