Sunday, September 20, 2009 - 12:38 AM
wish upon a wishing star
You know they always say, "Be careful what you wish for. It might just come true." Damn the 'sayings'. they're always right. I'm tired of all that has happened. What happened to my old comfortable life? Which purely involved staying in my own little world minding my own business. When I had that life, I grumbled about how boring it was. no excitement. no drama. but now I feel like I've just landed myself in lots of trouble. deep shit. I need a miraculous sign. Something like "Let there be snow tomorrow if I was supposed to blah blah blah". And now I need to go to sleep. but I'm afraid. Afraid of what closing my eyes would cause me to see. Afraid of tomorrow.
sometimes I regret what I do. especially when everything occurred as a chain reaction effect. like falling dominoes. I opened the pandora box. and now I'm trying to stuff everything back in. back into the stupid box I shouldn't have opened in the first place.
grant me peace please.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 - 10:27 PM
Liar Liar Pants On Fire
Would you rather someone not said anything or told you a lie just to make you feel better? I'm not really sure myself. I'd like to think I'll hate the liar. But I can't say with confidence that I would be happy hearing the truth. The truth hurts.
You know what scenario I feel like I'm in. Ok just listen to this.
The first time you walk down a street. You fell into a hole.
The second time you walk down the same street. You forgot about the hole. You fall in again.
The third time you walk down the same street. You think you saw the hole. But you're not sure. You fall in again.
The forth time you walk down the same street. You see the hole. You don't know how to avoid it. You fall in yet again.
The fifth time you walk down the same street. You see the hole. You know you should walk around it. But you just go ahead and jump in.
I feel like I'm stuck in this fifth time down the same old street. I've learnt. But I seem to be willingly jumping into the hole. I wonder when I can progress to the next stage.
The sixth time you walk down the same old street. You see the hole. You walk around it. You walk down the next street.
anyway.
Saturday, September 5, 2009 - 10:07 AM
An experience of a lifetime
I wonder if you still remember the first time you did something crazy or simply something you've never done in your life.. coming to Perth has marked many first-times in my life.. and it's nice to do new things.. reminds you that you're young and vibrant and full of energy.. someone once asked me, what do you think you'll feel when 30 years down the road, you look back at your life and realise the entire prime period was spent studying and getting prepared to enter the working world.. it does sound kind of depressing but we've just got to remember who we are.. life on earth is but a short pit-stop in our lives of eternity.. as long as we've got no regrets, built strong, deep and lasting relationships with people, then there's nothing to worry about..
and last night, I suddenly feel very blessed.. that I've got friends who look out for me and take care of me.. and sometimes I don't even realise they exist.. and I imagine that I'm alone to deal with all the shit in life and that nobody gives a damn.. I guess we've all got to take charge of our own lives.. but having friends and family around you, it just makes life seem much more lively, doesn't it?
and I feel grateful to those people who took care of me last night.. xie xie ni! =) and I think some people even had to hear me emo-ing.. hopefully I didn't let too many cats out of the bag..
and now the next thing to worry about is my driving lesson later today.. ready to be scolded.. because I still feel a bit floaty and my eyes are still not focusing well.. and yes my neck still feels a little disconnected from the rest of my body..
Loves..
Tuesday, September 1, 2009 - 5:16 PM
Comfort zone
been addicted to facebook the past few days.. just an hour into doing other stuff, I just feel that draw to open up facebook and do quizzes, watch uploaded videos, comment on statuses, etc etc.. I hope I'm not burning out.. it's only barely the 2nd month into this semester.. so we're barely even half done..
but this semester has been weird so far.. it's hard to put a word to the weirdness of it.. but it just doesn't feel erm normal.. I am studying less than usual, playing more than usual and doing many things that I normally wouldn't (ever since I came to Perth).. for example, updating my blog more than once a semester hahaha!
and my relationship with certain people around me have also become somewhat different.. I know I've never completely overcome that teenage impressionable phase.. but somehow I feel some sort of disappointment.. that only after so long of getting to know someone, do you realise that you don't really know the person at all.. but maybe Bernie is right.. it's time to move out of my comfort zone.. maybe there're so many things that I haven't seen out there.. I just need to look beyond my little bed of roses..